Tag Archives: kids say the darndest things

They Love Vincent

Café Terrace at Night, also known as The Cafe Terrace on the Place du Forum

Café Terrace at Night, also known as The Cafe Terrace on the Place du Forum

Over the course of the past week both of my girls have independently come to me telling me how much they love this painting by a guy named Vincent, and we should buy it because it would look good in our house and they think it would be cool.

I did clarify; they don’t want a poster/print, but want “the REAL one that he REALLY painted”.

So, we’re just skipping over the phase where you ask for a pony and going straight to pleading for 19th century post-impressionism art? OK, cool.

In related news, if you hear about a Dutch art heist, that was NOT me. However, if you see two kids on Antiques Roadshow in 50 years who seem to think they have the original Cafe Terrace at Night because they asked for it and their mom gave them a framed piece of art and they just assumed it was real and they comically find out it was a Michael’s print? Yeah, that’s probably my kids.

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Kourey Tells About Easter

Kourey came home from school with six bright plastic eggs in a gold spray-painted half of an egg carton. She was so excited to tell me what the eggs were for that she couldn’t wait to get home, even though I had been warned about Egg 2 and told her to please not open the eggs in the car.

As soon as she got home, she gathered the family around her to tell about the eggs and the meanings of their contents. She was so excited that she asked to video the third telling. And here it is.

She shares a few different details each time, as she is truly sharing a story versus reciting a lesson, but there is simplicity in the story from these six.

Egg 1 – a flower, to remind us that God created every part of earth, and all the beauty.

Egg 2 – dirt, to represent how sin makes us dirty, and apart from God

Egg 3 – a cross, to show how Christ came to clean us from that sin by dying on the cross

Egg 4 – a rock, to symbolize the boulder rolled back from the tomb where Jesus was buried

Egg 5 – nothing, to illustrate how the tomb was not only open, but empty, because Christ is not dead; he arose

Egg 6 – a mirrored heart gem, to reflect the reason God would do all that – His precious love for me

Happy Easter from the Dohls.

Give Peas a Chance

Green Lennon says "give peas a chance"

Apropos of nothing (as is her modus operandi), Kourey asked me “Mom, why do we pray to God to eat peas?”

Caught off-guard (as is my general response), I intelligently said, “What?”

“You know, when ‘we pray the blessings and we pray for peas’,” she sang.

We talked about blessings, and meal blessings; we talked about peace (“It’s when there is no strife or struggles””What’s strife?””Um…struggles””It’s when there is no struggles or struggles?””Yeah””Hmm”) and peas. And I will never hear that song again without “We pray for peas” echoing Laura Story’s lyrics.

Are These My Future Grandchildren?

clipboard2-horz-vertKourey has long told me (and anyone who would listen) of her detailed plans for the future. Living in Paris. With a job in fashion. And having 10 children – 4 girls, then 5 boys, then one more girl to be her baby.

Today Kourey told me that she was upping her desired kid count from 10 to 12, and she had names picked out. The girls would be named Merida, Ariel, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy.

Boys would be named after Star Wars and superheroes (specific names TBD).

When I was in high school I was dead set on the name Niamh Aisling for a daughter, and even before marriage I steadfastly held to my desire for a Ruth. Keith (still?) wanted to name his son Kermit. (I am not kidding) Clearly, names aren’t set until not only both parents agree but the birth certificate is filed.

That said, I promised to reminder her of this when she had children. Is lovingly embroidering a blanket for my dear grandson Obi Wan in my future?

A Wedding in Lizard Land – Queen Kourey and the Lizard Man

After lunch on Sunday the girls were playing in the den while Keith, Auntie Kris and I lingered talking at the table.

Kaitlyn came in with a scrawled message on her dry erase board. She had an announcement. (Kourey followed close behind to make sure it was delivered correctly) We were being issued an invitation. We had questions about some of the edicts in the proclamation, but here is the invitation as it unfolded and was explained to us.

You are invited to the wedding of Kourey, the Queen of Lizard Land, to the lizard. All ladies should wear a dress that comes out like this [hands spread to indicate full skirt] and goes to the floor and bring a suitable prince. A suitable prince will be very handsome and good for dancing with. Or, if not very handsome, he can be okay looking and very good at dancing. If he is not good looking at all, he cannot come.

If you do not have a suitable prince, you can pick one. We will have suitable Continue reading

“But I don’t WANT to be a pirate!!”

It’s a case of life imitating art (well, Seinfeld, at least).

Kourey’s been afraid of the pirates that are part of our FAM JAM (think VBS for the whole family) theme this year. When I bought her a t-shirt to wear, she said she couldn’t because she was afraid of pirates.

I told her, “But with this shirt on you won’t need to be afraid of the pirates… You’ll BE a pirate! You can’t be scared if you’re a pirate.”

Kourey looked up at me with baleful eyes and proclaimed,

“But I don’t want to be a pirate!”

For those of you without a Seinfeld problem context, here’s a little remix from “The Puffy Shirt”:

I Don’t Need A Nap!

I don’t need a nap! I’m just going to play in the den all afternoon. I’m just going to sit on the couch in the den. I’m just going to lay down on the couch. I’m just going to get a blanket. I’m just going to…

“…That’s Just The Way It Is!”

It wasn’t so much that Kourey picked “the Spider-Man with the web behind his head” when allowed to pick a show from Netflix that cracked me up. It was how she explained her choice.

“The one with the web is [Kour-ified announcer voice]Spider-Man and his uh-MAYYYYYY-zing friends![/end voice] and that’s the best Spider-Man there is.

That’s just the way it is.

I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel and I have to speak my mind.”

Christmas According to Preschoolers


Kourey and some of her friends and fellow preschoolers from Mount Pleasant telling about Christmas.

Pennies, Christmas and Rude Kings

While Kaitlyn was dancing on Monday, Kourey and I adventured across the parking lot to the magical land of McDonald’s for some supper.

First off, let me thank my sister-in-law for telling my daughter what was in that sauce container that comes with the apples. She told me she needed her “Cow Mom El” sauce that Auntie gives her. Well, we made it a few years on naked apples, but the proverbial cat is out of the bag!

But that’s not what I really wanted to tell you about. An older gentleman (“He looks like Pop!” Kourey says) handed me something and asked me to give it to Kourey, then wished us a Merry Christmas. I looked in my palm; it was a penny with a cross punched out. Kourey was entranced. I thought it was a good segue into a dinner conversation where I did a little “spiritual checkup” on my four year old.

Why is the cross important? Because it’s where Jesus died. Why is that important? Because it was like taking all the spankings (trying to explain substitutionary atonement in preschool terms, this what stuck. I’ll go with it!) Tell me about what happened after that. Well, Jesus is not dead, He’s alive! And He’s really God.

What are we celebrating now? Um, chicken nuggets? Let me try that again, what do we celebrate at Christmas? Ohhhhh! Jesus was BORN! He was born in a manger.

(OK, substitutionary atonement aside, that was pretty basic stuff, time to see what details of the Christmas story she knows, which she doesn’t, and most importantly, which I need to straighten out!)

Do you know where Jesus was born? I just told you, in a MANGER! OK, right. Do you know what TOWN Jesus was born in? Um [thoughtfully munching on an apple] well… [lightbulb] I know! Bethlehem! That’s right! You are so smart. Do you know Jesus’ mom’s name? Yes, Mary. “Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water…Please don’t sing so loud and at the table. But that’s right, and we can sing that song before bed. Do you know Mary’s husband’s name? Um, Jesus? Um GOD! Because Jesus is God’s son! (this would be one of those check up points for straightening out. I’ll bring you back into the story where Kourey says…) OK, so Joseph was the name of Mary’s husband. Got it. And he was with the shepherds.

How did the shepherds get there? They walked. OK, you’re probably right. But how did they know about Jesus? And where He was? The angels told them! And they went [mimes running] to see Jesus!

Did anyone else come to see Jesus? Three wise men. OK, how did THEY know where to find Jesus? Ummmm… more angels? (straightening out part two: the star)

At this point I still had some time, and thought Kourey was doing pretty well, so we would add a new chapter to her compendium of Christmas story knowledge: King Herod. After trying to be accurate, but appropriate for four-year-olds (“… King Herod was actually afraid of Jesus, because he thought Jesus would try to take away his kingdom”), Kourey asked when Herod stopped being afraid of Jesus.

Well, he didn’t. In fact, he made a rule that all the baby boys that might be Jesus had to be killed. WHAT?! He tried to KILL JESUS?!?! That is… that is… that is so… RUDE!!!

As my friend Betty pointed out, that is what you call righteous indignation!

As a side note, when looking for pictures of a cross-punched-penny, I found the site CrossPennyMinistries.com, who will send you punched pennies for just the cost of the penny and shipping. So for $20.50 you can get 1500 pennies and the punched crosses (you can get less pennies, but they use the $5.50 flat rate shipper for up to 1500). That is really cool!