Don’t believe your kids when they claim to be allergic to broccoli. Don’t believe your kids when they reply “Nothing!” when you ask them what they’re up to because it is all too quiet. And please, for the love of all that is clean and unstinky, DO NOT believe your kid when she says “Mommy, there’s no more throwup. It’s all gone.”
With that being said, proceed at your own risk.
Last night Kaitlyn went to bed in a fairly ordinary manner, but halfway through the evening I was called upstairs by Keith to discover Kaitlyn had thrown up more than you would think her little stomach could hold in her bed.
Before this I had thanked my lucky stars that neither child had ever thrown up. Well, besides spitting up as a baby, but that really doesn’t count. I had this memory of my mom cleaning vomit out of the carpet in the middle of the night from where I just didn’t make it to the bathroom. I don’t have any such memories of my dad (sorry, Dad, if that’s from faulty memory and not your avoidance of bodily fluid cleanup). I had pretty much assumed Keith would similarly be of little help.
Not so. I both unfairly underestimated Keith, and unsustainably overestimated myself. Two corners into taking sheets off of Kaitlyn’s bed I was overcome and spent the next few minutes pretending I was Kaitlyn ten minutes ago, just with better aim. Keith took care of the sheets and had them washing before I emerged. I took care of showering and consoling Kaitlyn, who didn’t say it but I think was a little scared, never having thrown up before.
We got Kaitlyn set up on the couch downstairs, and I tried to find something on TV at 11pm that wasn’t inappropriate. Kaitlyn rested and assured me that all of the throwup was gone. I knew enough to provide a basin. I didn’t know enough to have the basin in her lap or directly under her chin. One blanket, 15 minutes of couch cleaning, and a change of clothes for both of us later, Kaitlyn and I resettled on the couch and put “Home Alone” OnDemand. It turns out Kaitlyn is EXACTLY the right age to find that movie HILARIOUS. Sometime after Kevin was left home alone but before the attack on the burglars began, Kaitlyn was sent up to bed feeling a lot better.