Dr. Mommy: Fluffologist Extraordinaire

Yesterday I performed a Reverse Fluffectomy, a Tushie Taggal Implant, and two sets of Fluffal Sutures.

What am I talking about?  Like most children, all three of my girls have special stuffed friends they like to sleep with at night.  In Kaitlyn and Kourey’s cases, these bears had been loved to the point of needing restorative surgery, and yesterday was the day.

My first patient was Big Bear, bedtime friend of Kourey’s.  Big Bear is a, well, big bear.  And he had a hole in his tushie seam.  A few feet of brown thread, a needle, and five minutes left him all better, having had the first set of Fluffal Sutures administered in Hospital Dohlchester.

Next was the more complicated case of BB, aka Bedtime Bear.  BB was bought the day Keith and I found out we were pregnant with Kaitlyn.  Good thing she is a girl, as the original fur color is pink.  When new, BB’s string could be pulled to play a melody.  He had a tag on his tushie.  He had a fuzzy nose.  Baby Kaitlyn sucked the fuzz off of BB’s nose.  Repeated (necessary) washings over the year has left the music box silent, the string permanantly pulling the body into the elongated position.  The fluff has redistributed.  And the tag had been rubbed off to the point the seam beneath it’s former location opened up.

First up was the Reverse Fluffectomy.  Keith procured a bag of high-grade fluffing from a willing donor (the bag of fluff with my craft supplies in the attic).  It was a long and arduous procedure, but we managed to reset the arms, and fluff out the body without losing the ideal floppitude of the bear body, and without enlarging the accidental orifice.  Next an artificial tag was created with some grosgrain ribbon and a sharpie pen.  When you’re going with an artificial implant, you can make it to your specifications… custom print (“B.B.”) and size (slightly larger than the original tag, with a loop you can stick your finger through while sucking a thumb)(not that we encourage thumb-sucking).  Finally, the Tushie Tag was implanted in conjunction with BB’s own Fluffal Sutures, bringing all three procedures to a satisfying conclusion.

Both girls expressed relief and joy at their mended friends, and mommy put away the scissors and thread for another day.

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